


So He Stayed

by treefrogie84



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, John Winchester's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:51:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treefrogie84/pseuds/treefrogie84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why Dean kept hunting</p>
            </blockquote>





	So He Stayed

**Author's Note:**

> Written summer 2015, pre-season 11. I have no idea why this is still sitting in my drafts? So I'm posting it. Unbeta'd.

Dean was 16 the first time he realized he would never get out. A summer at Sonny’s was enough to make him dream of something different, better, less chaotic. But Sammy. Sammy, who wasn’t old enough to be on his own yet. Too young to pass as an adult, to convince the neighbors that he wasn’t on his own. Too young to pick up an under the counter job when money was short and Dad’s hunts went long.  
So, for Sammy, he stayed in. And his heart broke.

He was 18 when he was told not enough of his credits would transfer, and even if they all had, his attendance record was so shitty he wouldn’t be able to graduate on time. It hit him then, staring at some random do-gooder guidance counselor, that while he hadn’t been actively thinking about it, anything he wanted to do required at least a diploma. Even Uncle Bobby wouldn’t hire him without one. He sat through the rest of the school day, went back to the motel, and stopped showing up altogether.  
So, for lack of better options, he stayed in. And his heart broke.

Dean swore to himself that Sammy would graduate. Stood up to Dad a couple times to ensure that Sam’s transcript looked better than his own. Took nearby hunts solo so Dad could take further and longer hunts. And Sammy flourished, debate and soccer trophies, friends, a serious girlfriend, prom. If the trade-off for Sam being free was the fighting with Dad, that’s a payment Dean was willing to make. Sammy was always the bright one anyway. Graduation comes and goes, just the two of them, Dad on a hunt 3 states away and either doesn’t care or doesn’t remember. It’s mid-July when Sam makes the announcement Dean’s been waiting for: college. Dean waits for days, listening as the arguments get louder and more personal. Old hunting injuries and neglect; blame and counter-blame. Sam slams out the door, duffle in hand, without asking.  
So, because Sam never asked him to come with, he stays in. And he curses himself for being a coward because his heart can’t break any further.

He’s 26 when he drags Sam back in. Because he’s not heard from Dad in months and he’s probably dead. Dean cannot deal with this life taking both his parents from him so he convinces Sam to come on one more hunt. And Dad’s not dead, just AWOL and hiding. He takes Sammy home because Sammy is out and got out and wants to stay that way and just because it’s not a chance he’ll ever have doesn’t mean Dean begrudges Sam. Then Jess dies amidst fire and destruction and guilt and pain.  
So he stays in, because Sammy needs him. And he curses the life and himself and even Sam because nothing good ever happens.


End file.
